Owning your insights. This confirmed that my topic would make a good story. The death of my mother was one of the most, if not the most, traumatic events of my life. Telling it in this form is kind of therapeutic.
Finding the moment. This step caused me to rethink how I was going to transition at the moment of my mother’s death. For more of a dramatic step I will use a sentence that kind of hangs there and then silence with the screen going blank. This will signify the change in my life and the following narration will be different than the lead in.
Seeing your story. Initially I wasn’t going to use very many pictures to portray my story but after reading this section I decided that many images from my childhood would portray the relationship I had with my mother in a more effective manner.
Here's the link to my storyboard on Google Docs.
Mike,
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss.
I really like how you added some things to make your story really emotional for all of us who will watch it.
One thing that I noticed is the abundance of images that you are wanting to use. I would just be careful that your images don't overwhelm the story.
Mike,
ReplyDeleteI too am so sorry for your loss.
This will be a very therapeutic story for you to create I am sure. I echo Becca’s caution about using too many pictures. When doing the comparing/contrasting exercise the week, one thing I noticed is that is too many images flash by too quickly, it is hard for the audience to really connect to the story. It can be hard for us as authors to cut material when we are so emotionally close to the story.
It may also be difficult for you emotionally to cut any of the narrative, but I think you could make the story you are telling more powerful with a few edits and rewrites. For instance, you mentioned several times that you had no worries, no fears and life was good. I think the description of your life relays this message and you could maybe edit down some of these “feeling” words. As Lambert mentioned in this week’s chapter, it is more power to describe your happiness without directly saying “I felt happy.” Look for places throughout your story where you can “show” your feelings rather than “tell” them.
Again, I am sorry for your loss. I wish you well as you create this story in honor of your mother.
I like how you used Google Docs for storyboard and your detailed blog post. As for your story, I agree, this would be very therapeutic. What I am not sure about is the angle. For instance, how would your mom like to be remembered? What would your mom think of your story? Maybe a little of that. And, instead of the opening image of a headstone, maybe a more representative image would be the lunchbox she packed for your dad everyday. I'm going off course here a bit but the headstone reminds me of the Statler Brothers song about a mom seeing the name of her son who died in Vietnam on a memorial. It has a chorus of:
ReplyDeleteShe said Lord my boy was special,
and he meant so much to me
and Oh I'd love to see him
just one more time you see
All I have are the memories
and the moments to recall
So Lord could you tell him,
He's more than a name on a wall.
As a listener, too, I'd like to feel more of what she left you--after all this time to reflect--besides the loss. That's what I'd like my boys to be thinking about.
I think your plan will work really well. I'm so sorry for your loss and can only imagine how losing your mother would change things. The only suggestion I have it to maybe give some specific examples of what changed for you afterwards. I look forward to seeing this.
ReplyDeleteStoryboard looks good. One thing that is hard for me to tell from the storyboard is how the images will look or be handled. Is it possible to upload the images to Google Docs? I have only used Google Docs a little bit, so I am not sure.
ReplyDelete